We’re giving Susan a short breather while I pick up some of the non-financial implications of what is happening at the moment.
I don’t know about you, but it seems to take a lot of effort to think straight at the moment. I have talked to several people recently who have likened the feeling to their personal experience of grieving. But this is a more ambiguous loss because it is unclear, undefined and confusing.
Something has been lost. Everything looks the same, but everything is different. We are home schooling, conquering unfamiliar technology, distanced from loved ones, missing out on our usual rituals and celebrations. Many of us are in shock.
We are also creating new communities, volunteering, acknowledging those whose efforts often go unnoticed and recognising what we might have taken for granted.
It has happened at speed and there has been little time to plan. We are playing catch up.
Making sense of this feeling of loss is not easy, we need to listen to the stories of others and discover what it means for them. Some people need to act, anything to avoid feeling helpless. Some need space to breath and adapt. Others just want some form of social connection. There will be many variations on what people need.
Telling our stories can help us cope and heal.
Hearing each other’s stories and making connections through our shared experience can be comforting.
Recognising our own ambiguous loss can help us understand what we are feeling.
Naming ambiguous loss can help avoid self-blame.
Everyone will adapt differently so we should try not to compare ourselves with others.
Restoring some of our rituals, albeit in a new form, can help.
Ambiguous loss can be particularly challenging for people who prefer feeling in control.
Closure is often associated with loss and is linked to control and certainty; ambiguity remains open ended. Be kind to yourself and compassionate to others.
Dawn & Susan